2.10.06

Startled squirrels and horseshit

As I sit in our "bedroom apartment" atop the home we are now sharing with my cousin Jason, his wife Kathy and their four children, I sip my morning coffee by the open window. The cold autumn air dances beneath my feet. Cold Spring Harbor plays behind me while my wife's loving words left upon the bathroom mirror this morning recall the activity of a gorgeous October Sunday.

With barely a cloud in the sky, the sun warmed the morning air quickly as we drove to Brown county state park. The leaves were just starting to change color and fall to the ground. Miranda recounted the days at our last house when she would wrap herself in a blanket and sit on the back patio facing the woods just past our backyard. She loved to sit and read while the tiny creek trickled through fallen leaves and earth. It's difficult to not long for that backyard again. Though we both agreed that there's no substitute for the proximity to our family and friends right now. Memories of the past always seem to haunt us. We know the futility in playing that game of twenty questions. We wonder if only we'd known how things would turn out, would we do things differently? It doesn't matter. Not that the past doesn't matters because it obviously matters a great deal, but we certainly do no good hoping for the past to give us another chance. My memories often take me to times spent with the kids from the youth ministry. Last fall, we spent a weekend at Yellowwood Forest. Little did I know that a year from then most of those kids would be removed from our daily lives. It's hard not to still be angry. I still wonder a great deal where we'll be in a couple of years.
Back at Brown county, Miranda and I hiked a few miles through the woods, startled squirrels & caterpillars and read beneath the shade of birch trees as acorns pelted our car like Indiana hail in the Summertime. Last spring, our travels to Brown county led us to a limestone creek bed. We hopped across rocks further down the creek to a secluded place where all we could hear was the sound of fresh water and wind. We were really looking forward to returning to our special place only to be disappointed that the creek was fairly dry and muddy. There were also cavalries of horseback riders galloping past us which left us trodding through horseshit.

Nevertheless, we had a wonderful time getting away together and enjoying a most beautiful day. We can't know what tomorrow holds but we'd do well to just shut up and rest in the sound of sheer silence now and again. That's where Scripture tells us that God speaks and where we can hear.