11.1.04

Ready to jump

Well, here we are dangling our feet off the edge of another year gone by. As the wind of a new day sweeps between our toes and tussles our hair, we can imagine what it might be like to leap forward and free fall into that great unknown that is tomorrow, never looking back. Never wondering, “what if?” Never fearing that which awaits us.

Instead, most of us sit on the threshold of the New Year feeling beat up, exhausted, focusing on everything that we aren’t, the goals we failed to meet… on all the things we didn’t do, say, become, work on, or accomplish. Have you started setting goals for 2004 about all the things you intend to do, to say, to become, to work on, or to accomplish? Well give it up! How many Decembers have we done this only to end another year in disappointment before starting another year with new goals? STOP! Shut that voice up!

As you look out from that ledge upon the great big blue sky, be still. Breathe. Think back just for a moment and consider everything that has happened this year that was beyond you. For that matter, think of everything that happened despite you. Perhaps you were forced to look in the mirror and face some ugly things about yourself or your family… and survived. Maybe a friend or spouse who you thought would never attend a worship service with you showed up. Maybe you made a decision to stay in your marriage and really work at it… or maybe you finally found the courage to face an already broken marital covenant and had to make a decision about that. Maybe, in yourself or someone you love, you faced the pain of loneliness, sexuality, death, illness, infertility, shame, or addiction. Maybe you got a surprisingly favorable response after confronting someone on an issue… or perhaps you got the expected negative response and mustered the courage to move on. Maybe you received an obvious affirmation of your calling… or maybe you really know that where you are is not your calling at all.

Stop. Be still. Is this just “your stuff”… or is it God? Can you distinguish Him beyond the noise inside your head?

As you ponder that question, ask, “what is God?” Then strip it down to the bare bones and know that He IS. He IS and He chooses and has chose to come to us in the small, the unrecognizable, the difficult, the absurd, and the inconceivable.

So as you take that final breath as you stand on the ledge, will you choose to jump first and fear later? Will you—despite all your struggling—resist the voices of dissatisfaction and find Him there? Will you—despite yourself—accept that you have always been His child, His vessel, His instrument? Can you possibly allow Him to be that big? Because He IS and that is who you ARE… especially in the small, the unrecognizable, the difficult, the absurd, and the inconceivable.

Take a deep breath and take a huge leap off that cliff, not fearing the consequences, but resting instead in your Father’s embrace. He IS that big!