Behold the mighty Schwinn Hollywood. She's bedazzled in rust and raring to go. If memory serves me correctly, this beaut was once the teenage chariot of my mother's younger sister better known as Aunt Patti. Somehow she (the bicycle not my aunt) wound up propped upon a kickstand in my folks' shed for the better part of twenty years. I really am referring to the bicycle here. Let's just put those rumors to rest right now. My aunt has lived in oregon for some time now. At least that's what i've been told. Regardless, i am bound and determined to squeeze every last ounce of life from this rickety wiry beast or get slightly injured trying. While this is an exciting prospect, the addition of her majesty does not come without its problems. You see, we now have more bicycles in our garage than necessary for a healthy young couple living south of indianapolis.
Here is a list of things that you may or may not need which we have to offer and/or negotiate a deal for:
- ten-speed bicycles
- a lawn mower
- a propane grill
- 12" copy of 1978 billy joel record '52nd street'
- complete set of 1989 bowman baseball cards
- tv with built-in vcr requiring a hefty dose of patience to operate (remote control included, batteries not so much)
- dandelions
Take your pick and make an offer. Otherwise, they'll all die sad and alone and the guilt will follow you home and beg for scraps from your front porch until you spray it with a garden hose and shoot bb's at it. You really don't want that. Do you? I don't know, maybe you do.
And now, a bear...
More from him later.
