Take me to The Fish

The following is a photo montage inspired narrative by Rachel M.

She had known it would be a dangerous mission. An unprecedented one. And now, it came to it.

Olivia took a deep breath as she prepared to address the crew through the new hi-tech orange intercom mic. The “mom” tattoo was still fresh on her chest as she suppressed her uneasiness.

“Today”, she firmly announced, “will go down in the annals of history. Today, there is no gender, no race, and, indeed, no country. Today, we are all humans, reaching out into the great beyond. Today, mankind is one... one against the striped subterranean sea that has plagued us and ruled us these last 142 years. Today, you stand for freedom for mankind, and I am proud to stand with you.”

“Captain, NO!” Her first mate burst forth in a craze, grabbing her by the legs and screaming. “It's too risky! We'll live with their tyranny, just don't do it!”

“Damn it man! Don't try to stop me! It's got to be done... in the name of justice.” Olivia and a few others pried him off. He ran to his quarters and wept.

Olivia steadied herself and prepared to meet the enemy head on. As the doors of her submarine chamber opened to the cursed sea, she stared, determined, into the unknown.

She stepped out from all that was familiar into the weightlessness of the striped water. No one knew much about the ones who held them captive from 50 miles beneath the earth's crust, but they did know that the Red-Striped Fish was their leader.

A greenback seahorse and aqua-bird were the first to meet her.

“Take me to The Fish.”

They guided her directly and silently to the one on the throne, an hour's swim away. Upon arriving, the pair hovered menacingly on either side of her.

Olivia cleared her mind and began the speech others had crafted, the one she had repeated countless times for the last two months.

“I have come as representative for the human race,” she started. “I come to--”

“Did you bring any Mentos?”

“Beg pardon?”

“Did you bring any Mentos with you?” the Fish asked again.

Olivia, taken aback and not quite sure what to think, answered,“Well, I, uh, I have a few Lifesavers... but they've been in my wet suit pocket for a while. At least a couple hours.”

“That'll do.”

She handed them to the seahorse, who delivered them to The Striped One.

“Mmm...oh, that's like heaven. Watermelon?”

“I believe so.”

Olivia collected herself and threw the memorized speech aside. “So, will you return the earth to its previous state and allow us autonomy once again?”

The Fish looked puzzled. “Oh... are things not going well up there?”

“Um, no... we'd like to live our own lives again.”

“Wow, I had no idea,” replied the Fish. “Consider it done. No problem.”

“Wow, uh, okay, great. Well, great to meet you, and good luck and everything.”

The swim back to the sub didn't seem to take half as long as on the way there. Back home, Olivia wrapped up warm and snug in her favorite duckie robe.

Mother was not pleased about the tattoo.

Congratulations Rachel! Your story has earned you a collection of six vintage cabbage patch kids 3-D holographic stickers (aka solar glowers)!

Why yes, that IS a unicorn. Enjoy.